Growing Old Alone

Today, as I do every two weeks, I got my fingernails done; my nail tech works out of a salon in a large retirement community therefore the clientele, those getting their hair and nails done, are all senior citizens, many well up in years, and yes, I too fall into that category of senior citizen.

As I sit there getting my nails "all prettiied up" for the next two weeks, I cannot help but observe - I see happiness, sadness, pain and loneliness- way too much loneliness showing through their eyes, the way they carry themselves, how attached they seem to be to their hairdresser and/or nail tech. I cannot help but wonder, do they have family, if so, where are they? Do they not stay in touch, check in on them, spend time with them, show them their love over and over again?

Sadly, I do know some people who won't visit their aging parents, or even call them once a week, visit a nursing home, visit a memory care center or even their parents when they are hospitalized. What are the reasons I have heard? There are several : the one I have heard most is "it is too depressing" and then there is " I can't stand to see anyone in pain," or "she/he is so stubborn I just can't handle it." I want to jump up and down, shout at the top of my lungs, "It isn't about you!" and "if family and friends would visit them there would be happy faces not sad ones that you find depressing and your visit to the sick family member would mean the world to her/him and would help in their healing process!"

I don't shout; I do try to make my point but because I am so afraid of treading on toes I don't do it with any great emphasis. Sooooooo, now I am a part of the problem. From now on, whenever this subject comes up, I will not hestitate to make my point in a way that I hope will seep in and make that person think and act and perhaps just one less person will be lonely.

Last evening my granddaughter, Lindsey, told me about an interview with John Wooden which is in the latest issue of Sporting News; as she put it, "it transcends sports." After reading it I agree with her. Wooden is a former UCLA coach - this interview reveals a great love between husband and wife and the devotion of children and friends to Mr. Wooden. All of us should be so blessed. His family and friends get it - we need to take care of our loved ones by putting our "self" behind and put their needs and feelings first.

Remember: Therefore, but for the grace of God, go I.

"If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? Ecclesiastes 4: 10-11